Update: How do I come out as nonbinary to my straight partner?

Content note: This update describes someone coming out to a partner who says some anti-trans things in response.

Update from this post.

Not a question, just an update: I came out as enby to my cishet partner! He is very, very ignorant on lgbt+ matters, but he was somewhat supportive. He said “Whatever; as long as you don’t become a man, I’ll still love you… Just please don’t get a dick… But I’ll support you no matter what!”. He also said “I think it’s a phase in most cases… Not saying it’s your case, but still…”. I asked him to use a mix of feminine pronouns and masculine ones (since we don’t have gender neutral pronouns in my mother tongue) and he said “That’s kind of a mindfuck for me… I’ll try, but I won’t promise anything” which bummed me out BUT he IMMEDIATELY said “Goodnight, handsome <3” instead of “Goodnight, gorgeous <3” so that’s a win in my book. He also said I should try spending our whole next date refering to him in the feminine so he’d get more used to refering to me in the masculine… TDLR: he’s confused but he’s got the spirit. Kind of mixed feelings but I’m overall very happy.

S & K: Thanks for the update! We struggled with how to respond, and we won’t offer advice because you didn’t ask for it in this message. We’re glad that you’re happy, but we also feel that it’s necessary to acknowledge that your boyfriend said a lot of awful things to you; what he said is not an okay way to talk to anyone, and is generally transantagonistic. We really hope that he does the learning that is clearly necessary in order to respect your identity, and that you are able to be supported in the way you deserve to be one way or another. Please write back if you would like any further thoughts from us.

CC BY-NC 4.0